


cold

by pallettownn



Series: mcyt fics [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Comfort, Gen, Lowercase, Nightmares, Sad Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade is Bad at Feelings (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade-centric (Video Blogging RPF), nothing super triggering i think but, slight vent, technoblade and dream are friends, tommyinnit betrays technoblade, tw for bad thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:21:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28848978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pallettownn/pseuds/pallettownn
Summary: was it something i did?(i was sad so i projected)
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: mcyt fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2115456
Comments: 10
Kudos: 104





	cold

**Author's Note:**

> i miss techno and tommy they were brothers your honor

techno felt like he was drowning. the air wouldn’t come into his lungs and he couldn’t open his eyes. it was like he was floating, gasping for air, grasping for anything, but to no avail. then he started to fall, slowly, painfully. he drifted down, down, _down,_ for hours it seemed, then it stopped. this time he was on display, and someone, something, was taunting him. the voices, they were laughing at him, telling him how lame he was. how he’d never be good enough, how he should just give up. he still couldn’t breathe, so he started mentally begging for it all to go away, not wanting to suffer any longer than he had to, and he awoke with a gasp. 

he immediately shot up in bed and grabbed for the sword that wasn’t there, while his eyes were frantically looking around his room for something to ground him, his brain latching onto the enchantment table on the opposite side of his room and the bookshelves behind it. taking a deep breath in, he pinched the bridge of his nose, then massaged his temples, trying to will his headache away, the dream he’d just had in the forefront of his mind. the first time he’d tried to sleep in weeks was foiled by some stupid fears. the voices called him _technolame_. dragging a hand over his face, the man realized he wouldn’t be sleeping anymore, so he grabbed his glasses and put on his cape, not bothering to move his crown from its place on the grindstone where he’d put it not even two hours before. 

one look out the window told him it was around 4 in the morning, so he sighed and climbed down his ladder to the first floor, using the few golden carrots he had in his inventory to make a few more invisibility potions for him and tommy. they would be visting their dog army in l’manberg, and well… they were both kind of banned from that place, so invis was practically essential. looking through his chests to potentially find more golden carrots and to get his fermented spider eyes, techno realized how badly he needed to make more golden apples, since tommy had been eating them all as of late.

_speaking of tommy_ , he thought, _maybe i should check on him._ techno sat on one of his chests as he thought about it, the voices telling him to _go, go visit theseus_ but his own mind was riddled with doubts. deep in thought, his leg started unconsciously bouncing, his hands fidgeting with a piece of string he had taken from one of his chests. he wasn’t sure why checking on the boy living beneath his house was such a difficult decision. maybe it was a small part of his brain that was scared tommy was gone. maybe he was scared to be alone again or, god forbid, he’d starting caring for the raccoon-like child. after a while of debating, techno decided to drink an invisibility potion _then_ visit tommy. he stood up from the chest he had been on and opened it, looking for the rest of his golden carrots so as to not use the potions meant for l’manberg, only to remember he had put them in his storage area downstairs. begrudgingly he climbed down the ladders to look through all of his remaining chests, pausing when the voices went quiet. they started saying _crying_ and _danger_ alongside other similar things, so techno sighed and climbed down more ladders to the to-do room, trying to listen and see if it was tommy or if the voices were trying to make fun of him. tuning them out, techno stopped breathing for a second as he tried to listen through the stone placed above tommy’s small bedroom. he didn’t hear anything at first, and his mind wandered off, wondering why tommy was even still in his basement instead of at the house he had built next to techno’s, but his thoughts were cut off by the sound of what could only be described as muffled sobbing. 

techno gulped, realizing he’d never had to comfort anyone else before, but he shook it off as he mined the stone and quietly climbed down the last few ladders, his heart dropping when he saw the frail teenager on his bed, curled in on himself as he cried. techno quietly walked over to tommy, not wanting to scare him as he approached the smaller boy, the voices in his head calling for blood to whoever did this to his… _friend?_ the word was foreign in techno’s mind as he gently tapped tommy on the shoulder. which was a mistake, as tommy jumped and backed against a wall, closing his eyes tightly as he started whispering, pulling on his hair. his whispers grew into normal speech, but the only intelligible sentences were “please don’t hurt me.” and “i need my friend dream.” techno swallowed as the voices started demanding dream’s blood, trying to ignore them so he could be comforting to tommy. he shifted closer, trying to get tommy’s attention, but he soon realized that wouldn’t work. he frowned in confusion as to what to do, chewing on his nails as he tried to quickly think about how to calm tommy down, his best idea being just talking to the younger boy, but he didn’t know _what_ to say. he tried remember how wilbur used to calm him down after nightmares, back when they had first met, racking his brain for any memory that might’ve stuck, cursing his own bad coping mechanisms. the voices weren’t helping either, all they were saying at that point was “ _e”_ and “ _technolame”_ so he tuned them out as much as possible. it only took about a minute before his brain finally provided him with something wilbur had once used to help him.

“uh… tommy? can you hear me? it’s your… uh… it’s technoblade. i’m gonna need you to assure that you can hear me.” techno muttered in a soft voice, much different than the harsh monotone voice he usually used, surprising even himself. tommy didn’t look up but techno saw him nod slowly so he continued. “okay, that’s good, now i need you breathe for me. follow my lead, breathe in,” techno took a deep breath in to help tommy. “and out. i’m gonna tell you a story. continue practicin’ your breathin’, okay?” tommy nodded again, still trembling, his sobs starting to calm down. techno began his story. “once there was a boy who had a pair of red socks.

“he got this pair of socks from his dad, but this boy, he didn’t think much of these socks. you see, he thought they were useless since he lived in a desert and that the color was annoyin’, ‘cause red wasn’t his-” techno paused. ”tommy, you with me? you doin’ okay?... alright. okay for me to continue? alright. anyhow, despite the boy thinkin’ they were useless, this pair of socks was always with him. he never wore them, but he would forget about them in his school bag, or in his travel bag.” techno paused again to make sure tommy was still with him, then continued once again.

“one day, though, the boy lost his most prized possession, a knife from his mother, on an adventure. he only realized he’d lost it after he’d come home from this adventure to a faraway place, so he swore to find it and left almost immediately. he barely packed anything at all, so i’m sure you can imagine his surprise when the pair of socks was in his bag alongside his food.” at this point, tommy was only hiccuping a bit, seeming distracted from whatever had spooked him. techno continued. “after days of travelling, the boy was finally near where he last had the knife, the socks sittin’ unused in his bag. then it started to get cold, tommy, and i mean really cold. the boy brought a blanket but that was hardly enough to stop the chill goin’ through his bones. he then remembered the pair of red socks in his bag, so he put those on beneath his shoes. he was warm almost instantly, and he berated himself for not realizin’ the value of the socks earlier. he wore the socks as he finished his quest to find his knife, and finally his knife was recovered. he began to realize how much the socks had helped him and when he got home he thanked his dad and apologized for not wearing them sooner. he thought maybe, one day, the socks would help him on the biggest adventure of his life, but in that moment, he was just happy to be home. uh, the end?” techno glanced at tommy, who hadn’t said a word the entire time. tommy was smirking slightly, his cheeks still red and his eyes still swollen, making techno raise an eyebrow.

“that was a shit story, blade, why would he care about socks so much?” tommy didn’t speak as loud as he usually would, but his tone was his usual teasing, so techno chuckled.

“tommy, it’s a metaphor. are...are you feelin’ okay now?” techno asked hesitantly, not wanting to overstep. tommy waved him off.

“yeah, yeah, just had a nightmare. wait, why are you up?” tommy glared accusingly at techno, making the latter raise his hands in defense.

“what? can a man not be up at four in the morning just because?” tommy gave the older man a deadpan look.

“you’re not even fully human, dickhead. i like that word. dickhead. anyways, i’m actually kind of tired, blade, so please quiet down.” tommy shuffled back under his covers, so techno got up to leave, but tommy stopped him. “woah, hey blade, uh… i think… dream… is upstairs, so you should stay here and make sure he doesn’t come down here.” tommy’s grin was hesitant but the look in his eyes screamed _don’t leave me alone_ so techno sighed and sat back down on tommy’s bed. he knew the feeling of being alone all-too well, and he didn’t want tommy to go through that again. he never wanted his _friend_ to go through that again.

  
  
  


so when tommy turned his back on him not even two days later, techno didn’t know whether to feel angry or disappointed. maybe both, maybe neither, all he knew is that he nor the voices were very happy. 

“tommy, i’m givin’ you one last chance to think hard about this, ‘cause once i leave here dream and i will be blowin’ l’manberg up, no matter where your loyalties lie tomorrow.” techno spoke cautiously, not wanting the like, 30 dudes to know he had any weak spot for the fucking idiot of a boy standing in front of him. 

“i know, techno, i’ve chosen tubbo.” tommy’s face held no expression, his eyes not betraying him, but techno knew his own were _searching_ for any sign of hesitation. when he found none, techno stood up straighter than he had in a while, tilting his face up to assert himself. tommy took a step behind tubbo, glaring at techno, who took two steps towards him. he spoke in a calm voice, but his nostrils flared as he got ready to speak, the voices begging for blood.

“i shouldn’t have ever trusted you, theseus. for the record, you were my red socks.” techno patted tommy on the shoulder, not for reassurance but more of a warning. “anyway, _LATER IDIOTS_! YOU REALLY THINK I’M GONNA FIGHT ALL OF YOU?” techno threw an ender pearl towards the nether portal and he seemed to lose all of the people after him pretty quick. he pulled out his sword in case anyone _was_ following him as he travelled back to his house where phil was waiting. _oh, phil. this’ll be fun to explain_. techno pursed his lips as he thought about the events that had happened over the last half hour or so. he would be teaming with _dream_ of all people. _DREAM_. the guy who was manipulating almost the entire server to his will. not that techno _really_ cared, but it’s the thought that counts, i guess. 

he was almost to his portal when the sudden and crushing realization that he was always meant to be alone dawned on him. techno felt sick to his stomach, and he wasn’t sure if it was the golden apples or the fact that he had almost given up everything for nothing. it was all for _nothing_. he had helped tommy so much, taken him in when no one else would, comforting him. being _human_ to him. not treating him like shit. it was all for nothing. tommy didn’t care about techno or his friendship, techno thought sickly. all tommy cared about was _using him._ be wasn't techno to tommy, he was just the blade, just a weapon. the man stumbled through his portal, trying to ground himself and be strong for phil, his momentarily vulnerable state making the voices crawl into his brain and _stay there_. his only coherent thoughts were _traitor_ and _blood for the blood god._ he gripped his sword tighter, ender pearling to his base as he felt too much rage coursing through his body to actually move. 

tommy _used him._ tommy _betrayed him_. tommy always fucking crawled back to _his tubbo._ techno felt so, so stupid. he wanted to punch himself in the face for actually believing tommy ever cared about anything techno did for him. techno thought back to when he first saw the young boy next to phil, so innocent and young. how the tides had turned. phil’s son was a _traitor._ all techno wanted was to kill the traitor. destroy the government. maybe then tommy would learn. maybe l’manberg would learn. they would be taught a lesson. they would _pay_ for everything they’d done. no one was on his side. technoblade would deal with them all singlehandedly. he would deal with the _traitor._ technoblade always _wins_ because technoblade _never dies._ they would all pay. all of them would pay for everything they’d ever done to _the_ technoblade. in his rage, nothing could stop him, not even-

“hey, techno? you okay mate?” _phil_. techno’s eyes snapped up to his closest and only friend.

“hey phil. yeah, i’m okay.” techno rubbed his temples as he willed away the voices and the massive headache that was coming on. phil was standing on top of what techno assumed to be his farm, wings taut behind him, the farm making techno laugh. “that’s a big farm, phil, you sure you need all of that land?” phil laughed alongside techno, agreeing with him.

“where’s tommy, by the way?” phil asked, looking around. “is he invis?” techno’s smile dropped as he was reminded of what had gone down.

“uhh… tommy won’t be comin’ back. like, ever.” phil looked slightly concerned.

“what, is he dead?” 

“no, he’s alive, he’s just a terrible person. you’ll never believe what he did, phil, wait ‘till you hear this.” techno launched into the story of everything that had happened that day, only getting off topic about three times, ending with a “so, yeah… tommy’s not coming back.” phil nodded grimly but seemed otherwise unaffected by his son’s betrayal. 

“evening, gentleman.” a voice from behind phil spoke up, both the mentioned and techno looking back.

“oh, hey, dream. thanks for leavin’ me behind back there, by the way, i definitely could’ve pvp’d all 30 of those guys by myself. i spared them, though. obviously.” techno scoffed out in good humor. dream laughed a bit at that, apologising to him. “by the way, why’d you give ‘em a day? i could’ve gotten the withers in like, half an hour, had you given me the chance.”

“i dunno, it’s kind of like an evil villain thing?” dream shrugged.

“oh, okay. i guess you’ve been watchin’ too many superhero movies lately.” dream let out a noise of protest. “anyhow, do you guys wanna go ring the bell upstairs to annoy some nerds?” techno was trying to distract himself from the constant buzzing in his head, so talking to dream and phil was definitely helping. the two others agreed and the three men rang the bell for no reason other than to be annoying, as antagonists do. they stopped, though, and dream asked techno to meet him outside. as soon as the green guy was out of ear shot, techno whispered to phil, “do you think he’s about to scam me? i should tell him it’s against my policies.” phil chuckled at him and shrugged, leaning against a window where he was most definitely going to be eavesdropping.

“i dunno, mate, guess you’ll just have to find out.” phil nodded in encouragement toward the door, so techno let out a sigh of exasperation and left the house. once outside, dream and him talked about their plans for blowing up l’manberg for a bit before dream asked the fated question, “you said you have withers?” techno’s polite smile grew into a grin. 

“oh yeah, i’ve got a few withers, dream.” techno started to walk toward his house to grab his button from the ender chest in the main room. dream seemed pretty happy at the idea of techno having only a few withers. oh, if only he knew. “you have no idea how much i’ve prepared for the fall of l’manberg.” phil, from his spot next to the window, sent a questioning look to techno, who nodded. “dream, i’m gonna show you something.” techno led dream to the secret base that he had prepared, opening the redstone-operated door to reveal around 18 wither skeleton skulls, techno not giving away the fact that he had around 140 or more in his ender chest. him and dream geeked about the destruction they were going to cause - leave him alone, techno hadn’t talked to anyone his age in… well… ages, i guess - as they walked back to techno’s house, dream mentioning a secret ace he would use. phil must’ve overheard them talking about the withers or the tnt because he said,

“this sounds so chaotic, i love it.” 

which made techno ask, “would you like to join us phil?” obviously the older man agreed to join, why wouldn’t he have? after all the planning and talking about the next day was done with, dream went off to god-knows-where, so techno started another rant about the betrayal of tommy to phil. 

“he BETRAYED ME, phil, for the guy who LITERALLY EXILED HIM. he was all, oh uh my tubbo hmm yes, he has betrayed me 12 times but _no no_ , my limit is 13 times i am tommyinnit and i am a complete and utter _idiot_ hmm yes. _GOD_ , i hate those guys. they think the power of friendship solves everything, then they just turn their backs on those who trust them.” phil awkwardly laughed, nodding in agreement.

“yeah, they can be dickheads.”

“yeah. anyway, i should probably move my dogs, ‘cause tommy knows where they are right now. you wanna come with?” techno prayed phil would agree because he really didn’t want to go back to l’manberg alone. thankfully, he did agree, so techno and him went to l’manberg, moved almost all the dogs to a different spot, laughing and talking along the way.

it wasn’t until later that night on his roof, when most of the server had gone to sleep, that techno let himself actually feel the effects of that day. his mind ran over what had happened, and tommy’s blank face when he chose tubbo. _why_? why had he chosen tubbo? was it because of their whole adoptive brother thing? tubbo had hurt tommy, why did tommy choose him anyway? what isn't he getting? _maybe_ , techno thought, _maybe it’d be better if i wasn’t here. i could run away, no one would care_. _i could die_ , _no one would care_. the thought made techno think. when had anyone here actually ever cared for him? when had anyone ever talked to him, ever been kind to him, excluding phil? wilbur and tommy and all of pogtopia had used him, badboyhalo gave up talking to him after the first day, sapnap and george never bothered, dream really only talked to him when he needed techno’s power. this realization that no one cared shouldn’t have affected techno as much as it did. it shouldn’t have made his throat dry and his eyes burn with unshed tears. it shouldn’t have made him want to scream and cry like a toddler, begging for attention. it shouldn’t have made him feel absolutely sick to his stomach. oh, but it did. when he choked back a sob, the voices that had faded out started to get louder, most of them wondering what was wrong. once they realized why he was sat sobbing, they spoke soft words of comfort, and techno felt like a kid again as he lie down on the top of his roof, shivering and crying over things he couldn’t discuss with anyone. 

“hello technoblade!! what are you doing up here?” ghostbur’s cheery voice came from next to him. “oh no! do you need some blue? here, have some blue.” floating over to techno, ghostbur handed him some blue, getting a little bit on the cape that was spread out underneath him, making techno laugh a watery laugh.

“thank,” techno shivered violently. “thank you ghostbur.” 

“technoblade, you need to get inside, i think. you don’t seem very happy, do you need more blue? should i get tommy?” ghostbur wasn’t there to hear of tommy’s betrayal, techno realized in the back of his mind. the front of his mind was the betrayal itself, and he wanted to tell wilbur about how his little brother had left, but he couldn’t voice his mind as his body was wracked with sobs. all he wanted was friends, he wanted people who he could trust and rely on. techno was reminded of when he and wilbur were younger, missing the times when he could duel with his friend without worrying about anything other than the voices. or wilbur’s guitar breaking. actually, that’s a good idea.

“sing? ple-” techno shivered. “please sing.” ghostbur tilted his head, but shrugged and left for a second before coming back with a guitar. _huh_? ghostbur cleared his throat and tuned the couple strings that seemed to be out of tune, then started strumming familiar chords, and techno felt almost immediately calmer. when ghostbur started singing, techno recognised the lyrics as one of wilbur’s songs called _since_ _i_ _saw vienna_. near the end, techno’s sobs had calmed to hiccups, only the cold seeping in his bones keeping him from operating as normal. 

“should i sing something else, technoblade?” wilbur asked, blissfully unaware of techno’s inner turmoil.

“no, ghostbur, but,” shiver. “if you would, please stay here?” 

“okay, technoblade, have some more blue.” ghostbur smiled sweetly. techno thanked him again. they sat on his roof, watching the stars for a while, and for the first time in literal years technoblade felt almost calm. 

“wilbur… i- i feel so cold. i’m so cold.” techno’s voice was barely above a whisper as he shivered again. wilbur went tense at techno’s wording, but nodded anyway.

“...yeah, technoblade. me too.” 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks 4 reading if u wanna talk to me my twitter is @pxllettownn


End file.
